For some of you out there in the world August 23 was simply another Monday in your life. However, for those of you poor creatures out there like me it was the beginning of the next 9 month long life-draining event. That's right! School has officially started. Which we all know means early mornings, crazy teachers, designated food times, and homework. Pretty much the definition of lame.
I actually managed to crawl out of bed at five flippin thirty in the morning and sleepily make my way into a decent state of appearance. Since it was the first day of school Dad drove me there instead of making me ride the bus. When I got there I felt so alone. Everyone was freaking out and getting all kinds of excited to see all the people they knew and missed over the summer. Normally that would have been me as well if it was my first day back at Montgomery, but it was not. It was my first day at Magnolia where I know a total of 2 people. OK maybe I know more. but I'm only friends with 2. Shaile, my bestest besty of all time, didn't have signal so I couldn't call to see where she was. My other friend, Chase, threw a hey in my direction then went on with his business. So I got my schedule and got lucky enough to run into shaile finally.
Pretty soon after that the bell rang so I made my way to first period through crowded halls. Algebra was my first class. The teacher, Mrs.Luce, seemed very nice. She was very organized and color coded everything, yet was scatter-brained as well. Very much like me. She assured there will be much homework, so that should be fun. Luckily I like math. Next was history. The class seemed pretty laid back but I could tell my teacher, Coach Westmoreland, is a big lecturer. Normally I could handle that, but every other word out of his mouth is "uh". It drives me insane. Then I have chemistry with Mrs.McGill. Instantly I could tell that is going to end up being my problem class. Shes not really strict with rules or anything like that. Like she allows us to listen to ipods in class as long as there turned down so that we can still here her. Shes a big time pusher though. Shes the type of teacher that will go out of her way to make sure you do everything exactly correct and don't try any short-cuts. I am a big Short-cut kinna girl. Wish me luck with that one. Forth period is english3 with Mr.King. I'm really looking forward to his class. Its more than just reading and worksheets. He leads more of a discussion based class. Its very interactive and makes me think for myself. The way he teaches allows me to express my opinion and have my own views instead of only taking in a bunch of information. Its more of a two way straight. I love that. My last three classes should be really easy. The teachers are so laid back and don't care about little rules. I have psychology, web tech, and a food class. At least when I get tired in the middle of the day I can get lazy!
I suppose overall it could have been way worse. I did make a few friends... sort of. They have the potential to be friends. For now I guess there only acquaintances. Potential friends is enough for me to start off with though. Well see how tomorrow goes.
Monday, August 23, 2010
The Glue
My family is basically a bunch of wild, live-to-laugh, loving group of relatives. Being to the family we are we have accumulated quite a list of inside jokes. They're not even necessarily funny things that happened in the family or real jokes that someone told. 90 percent of them are just random things that stuck. For example my dad over heard someone he works with getting in an argument with his daughter on the phone. The man kept repeating "really?!" as if surprised of what his daughter expected from him. That evening at the dinner table Dad decided to share this with us. Now any time anyone in the family says "really?" everyone starts saying really over and over again copying the guy from Dad's work. Like i said no real joke there. Complete random actions that crack my family up. We have thousands of them. In a way these jokes are part of the glue that keeps us together. In another way there the reason my family proudly owns the label of strange.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
History
The first 17 years of my life were spent being raised my mother. Although I am proud of who I have become, there are many things that would have been better if they were different. My mother has always been very controlling and I have always been very independent. That alone caused most of our problems. Then there were the little things that only made everything worse. She had high expectations for me in school; I was happy with just passing. She didn't want me to grow up; I wanted to act grown up like the girls in school. She wanted me to do everything just like her; I had my own ideas of how to do things and who I wanted to be. The list goes on and on. Some cases she was right. Others not so much. However, most should have been handled differently than they were.
Eventually so much disagreement lead me to be rebellious and stop caring. It didn't help that I was becoming a teenager and was already rebellious and argumentative from hormones and what not. My grades became worse to where I was always failing at least one class. The rule was 80s or above or grounded. Grounded meant no friends, phone, TV, music, playing outside, sports... basically life. I didn't have good grades from around 6th grade till junior year. Which meant I was grounded from 6th grade till junior year. For a young girl trying to grow up I'm sure you can imagine how difficult that was for me. I knew all I had to do was get good grades but after a few years I lost all motivation and just got used to it.
I used my weekends at my dad's as a vacation every two weeks. For years my dad and step mom, Jessie, talked about moving me into there house. The summer before I started high school I decided I was done talking about it and was ready to move in. My dad and I called my mom and tried to talk to her about it, but she refused to let it happen. She came by the house the next day and guilt tripped me into staying. The next summer when nothing had changed I moved in with my dad. The guilt trip didn't work that time. However, after the first semester of my sophomore year I was moved back. I never really got a clear reason why.
When my grades were still bad the second half of my sophomore year my mom and I agreed to try home school. Being the cheap person my mother is towards her kids she went with the cheapest home school she could find. I hated it. Every thing the home school was teaching me was things I learned in elementary school. Plus I wasn't actually getting any of it done. It bored me. It was basically only busy work to me, and there was so much of it. When all my friends were finishing their junior year and were enjoying their summer I was just making it to half way finished. It didn't help that things were getting worse between my mother and I.
One night after I came home from my dads I tried to talk to my mom about going back to school. We had talked about it before, and she had always said no. This time though I decided it was either go back to school or get my GED because I wasn't finishing home school. I couldn't. I lacked the motivation, the patience, the tolerance, and the time. I wasn't learning anything. It was pointless to me. Of course this started a huge fight. Normally fights have always been typical for us, but that night I was just fed up. One thing led to another and it finally came to me calling my dad. She blew up, and so did I. I ended up running down the street while on the phone with my dad crying and screaming at her, "I'm never coming back to this horrible place!". Since my dad was on the phone for all of it he knew what it was like. He came and picked me up from where I was hiding. The next day I was informed that I would be living with them now. That was all last Sunday.
Now I live with Dad, Jess, Devon, and Blake. My mother and I are no longer even speaking. I can only see my sister, who lives with my mom, when she goes to her dad's house. I am registered back into school, and pick up my schedule tomorrow. I may end up having to do my whole junior year over because I never finished home school. I'm just thankful to be able to graduate though.
I'm trying to look at this whole situation in a positive manner. Alot of good is coming from it. The most important one however is that I'm finally happy and that I get to have a fresh new start. I'm really hoping I can make this new start turn me around and make me a better person with a better life. It helps alot that i have supportive understanding parents and two brothers that look up to me as well as my sister, Pooda, has me as an example of how not to act towards our mom. Life should be much better now.
Eventually so much disagreement lead me to be rebellious and stop caring. It didn't help that I was becoming a teenager and was already rebellious and argumentative from hormones and what not. My grades became worse to where I was always failing at least one class. The rule was 80s or above or grounded. Grounded meant no friends, phone, TV, music, playing outside, sports... basically life. I didn't have good grades from around 6th grade till junior year. Which meant I was grounded from 6th grade till junior year. For a young girl trying to grow up I'm sure you can imagine how difficult that was for me. I knew all I had to do was get good grades but after a few years I lost all motivation and just got used to it.
I used my weekends at my dad's as a vacation every two weeks. For years my dad and step mom, Jessie, talked about moving me into there house. The summer before I started high school I decided I was done talking about it and was ready to move in. My dad and I called my mom and tried to talk to her about it, but she refused to let it happen. She came by the house the next day and guilt tripped me into staying. The next summer when nothing had changed I moved in with my dad. The guilt trip didn't work that time. However, after the first semester of my sophomore year I was moved back. I never really got a clear reason why.
When my grades were still bad the second half of my sophomore year my mom and I agreed to try home school. Being the cheap person my mother is towards her kids she went with the cheapest home school she could find. I hated it. Every thing the home school was teaching me was things I learned in elementary school. Plus I wasn't actually getting any of it done. It bored me. It was basically only busy work to me, and there was so much of it. When all my friends were finishing their junior year and were enjoying their summer I was just making it to half way finished. It didn't help that things were getting worse between my mother and I.
One night after I came home from my dads I tried to talk to my mom about going back to school. We had talked about it before, and she had always said no. This time though I decided it was either go back to school or get my GED because I wasn't finishing home school. I couldn't. I lacked the motivation, the patience, the tolerance, and the time. I wasn't learning anything. It was pointless to me. Of course this started a huge fight. Normally fights have always been typical for us, but that night I was just fed up. One thing led to another and it finally came to me calling my dad. She blew up, and so did I. I ended up running down the street while on the phone with my dad crying and screaming at her, "I'm never coming back to this horrible place!". Since my dad was on the phone for all of it he knew what it was like. He came and picked me up from where I was hiding. The next day I was informed that I would be living with them now. That was all last Sunday.
Now I live with Dad, Jess, Devon, and Blake. My mother and I are no longer even speaking. I can only see my sister, who lives with my mom, when she goes to her dad's house. I am registered back into school, and pick up my schedule tomorrow. I may end up having to do my whole junior year over because I never finished home school. I'm just thankful to be able to graduate though.
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